Confessions of a Delirious Mind
(Behind the Scenes of a
“Professional” Film Shoot)
This isn’t really a story about a
ride. This is more a story about doing
something different. It’s about getting
off your ass and seizing opportunities presented to you. Too often we sit around and live for
tomorrow. We stick with a job that we
don’t like. We save our vacation days
for the big trip next year. This is
sad. Anyhow, I was presented with an
opportunity that would have been really easy to dismiss. There were about 50 reasons to say ‘no’ to
this ride. Even after I said ‘yes’ I
wasn’t sure that it was even going to be fun.
All I knew was that this was one of those things that won’t come around
very often. It was one of those things
that, good or bad, I would always remember.
So here it goes.
It began as an afternoon of dirt
jumping. As of 3:30 in the afternoon, we were supposed to meet
up at six for an evening session. By
five the plan had changed drastically.
So, rather than heading out riding, I saddled up my ball glove and
headed for a slo-pitch/ass-kiss session to talk my boss into giving me the next
day off. He did, so I was off.
I guess it wasn’t that simple. Doing
anything with Cory and Ambrose is a sketchy proposition. Throw Margus into the mix and you may as well
be planning a trip to the zoo with a Kindergarten class after slipping half of
them sleeping pills and the other half speed.
Plans change. People yell. It gets ugly sometimes.
The plan was to film a six-hour night-ride epic
that flowed into the following morning.
The footage was to be used in Pist-N-Broke’s next video, Back in the Saddle Again. This was rather ambitious, especially
considering the dysfunctional nature or our group. Still, something about it was intriguing. I knew that it would beat the piss out of me
and I’d be miserable for much of the time.
I knew that Cory would yell a lot and Margus would probably get us lost. But I also knew it would be a hell of a lot
more exciting than another Thursday at work.
If you think they look tired now, you should smell them
later. Actually, even now they smell
pretty bad. - Cory Leclerc and Margus Riga
So off we headed. Two cars.
Four people. One in the
morning. We were on the bikes at
three. I was dead by six. The novelty of the star-soaked night and a
larger than life Mars quickly wore off.
I guess that any time you start out for what you know will be at least a
four hour climb, you can kind of figure that you won’t be feeling all that
great within a short period of time.
Still, I wasn’t prepared for this.
What started as a ‘ride’ quickly developed into a hike-a-bike. Well, for me anyhow. My legs felt like shit by four. I was hungry by five. I felt like crawling into a ditch by
six. Between six and 6:30 I probably made about 200 feet
of progress (seriously). I stopped every
few feet and snapped pictures as the Sun started to rise. I’d like to say it was the scenery that kept
me riveted in place but I was seriously doubting my ability to complete this
ride and remembering why I didn’t really do much in the way of cross-country
anymore. But I’d driven a few hours,
climbed for three and taken the day off work so quitting and sitting in the car
wasn’t something I was about to do.
An Ass-Riveting View
At about the time that my spirit was
cracking the sun was rising and I caught my first glimpse of the peak. With the sun shining and my objective in
sight, I was a new man. My baby steps
turned into that of a half-grown chimp.
I focused my mind on chicks and booze and amazingly dragged my
beer-fattened ass to the top. I arrived
to one of the most beautiful sights I have ever witnessed. Four-and-a-half hours of climbing and I can
honestly say it was worth it and I’d barely had the opportunity to plop my
dumper on my bike seat. I was happy and
we hadn’t even started going down.
Spirits are crushed easier with snow on the ground. –
Dave Tolnai (Photo – Margus Riga)
There’s no way to describe the feeling of
being surrounded by snow-capped peaks bathed in early morning light on a amazingly
warm August morning, all the while scarfing down the most fantastic tasting
burrito you’ve ever wrapped your mouth around.
As I was the last to hobble my carcass to the top, the rest was
short-lived. The filmer/photographer
types were eager to make use of the lighting, so off we trekked across the
alpine.
It was probably another hour or two until
we reached ‘down’. The first few hundred
meters of trail were incredibly sketchy.
I used muscles that I never knew existed just trying to keep my bike
pointed in a straight line. It was a
little worrisome thinking that all of that climbing would be a gigantic waste
as I would be unable to ride faster than a walking pace once we hit the trails. After a short period of time it became easier
as I could finally stop thinking about things and just ride. I guess it helped that we soon stumbled upon
some of the flowiest, fun to ride trails I’ve ever had the pleasure of
experiencing. It was also becoming
painfully obvious that the estimated two hours down was a little far-fetched.
As we rolled on we left the alpine and
entered some beautiful forest/meadows.
We soon figured out that stopping and resting wasn’t a good idea as any
conversation quickly turned into an argument.
Take away somebody’s food and sleep and force them to ride their bike a
long ways and things can turn nasty. If
you ever do something like this make sure it’s with people who don’t hold
grudges. So, we stopped stopping, we
stopped arguing and we continued riding.
We had about an hour more of meadowy forests with fast, gentle
singletrack. From there it popped into
the woods, got a little more technical and a lot more turny. That lasted for a while, and with an hour of
trail left everybody agreed that they’d seen enough singletrack for one
day. We put the cameras away and focused
on getting our asses back to the cars.
We popped out at the bottom and
“Five-Minute” Margus assured us it was a quick climb to the road and then
5-10 minutes to the bottom. If the next
hour of riding had required up rather than down I would have killed him. Seriously.
Actually, we were all too exhausted to do any damage to Margus who was
easily in the best shape of us all. So it
probably would have just resulted in a stern glare and maybe a bit of a
lecture. We finally rolled up to the
cars and there it was. 1:30pm. Ten-and-a-half hours on a bike. Stupid.
Just absolutely stupid.
The Payoff. - Cory Leclerc and Dave Tolnai (photo – Margus Riga)
But that wasn’t it. Imagine driving 2 hours in the heat and
traffic and then getting to Vancouver
for rush hour after staying up all night and being on your bike far longer than
you ever have in your life. My actions
bordered on delirious and at one point I was yelling at a vanload of
construction workers who tried to force their way in front of me. I survived and rolled into bed at about the
time I would normally be getting home from work.
Honestly – huck this, huck that, stunt
here, skinny there is fine, but nothing can beat a nice stretch of downhill
singletrack. Sometimes I fear we’ve lost
the meaning of what took us out riding in the first place and we’ve misplaced
the concept of a trail. Six hours of
downhill through peaks and beside glacial lakes was enough to remind me that
there is way more to riding than is shown in the average video. Fair enough, I was riding a 9-inch travel
bike with an 8-inch fork with only a middle ring, so I can’t really claim to be
too much of a purist. But I could easily
have been enjoying myself just as much on ... well... maybe on something with
five and five.
My whole point is that people are too
wrapped up in their day-to-day lives.
Too focused on tomorrow. Hell,
I’m 26 and I’m trapped in the life of an old person. I’m more bitter than Michael Jackson trapped in
an old-folks home for the weekend. I’m
focused on rent and car payments and being sober for work in the morning. Even in our tiny little cycling world
everybody is focused on the right bikes, the right clothes and the biggest gap
on the newest trail. It’s all
bullshit. Sometimes it feels good to
take a step back, fuck the consequences and live for the moment. Do something you wouldn’t normally do. I did and I experienced one of the coolest,
stupidest days I will ever remember.
